night vision

last night i found myself in a truck alongside my best friend at four in the morning. crazyness. this kid was in a bad mood, and when he's a grump he drives. i know this and let him go often, but last night for some reason i was scared to let him go alone. my motherly controlling instincts kicked in and i rolled out of my bed at 2:56am so that i would know that if he did hit black ice or an elk, at least i would be there to handle the situation. makes sense right? i was instructed with a very strict text before i was allowed into the truck that i was not to talk and to pretend i wasn't there. normally i am not the one being instructed so i did as i was told and snuggled up into my comforter for the winding drive i knew would take us to bear lake. we drove. he listened to my ipod and i thought in the silence. there are very few times when there is silence between us but it gave me a chance to pay attention to things i normally wouldn't have. i love nighttime. the snow on the trees is one of my favorite sights in the world. looking at the stars in the so clear and closer than life mountain sky is beautiful. that is why i have grown to enjoy it here. the river ran all they way along the journey with us. he is thoughtful. he used chapstick and without a word handed it to me knowing i would want it. he stopped once, got out, got a flashlight and got a waterbottle which amused me so much. he is always prepared and always has a place for things. he dramk from the bottle handed it to me, and got back in the car. he took his jacket off instead of turning the heat down because he knows that i am always cold. even in anger he thinks of me first. we continued to not speak, got to the opening of the valley into bear lake and then spun cookies before turning around and driving the whole way back. the only thing we almost hit was an owl, but otherwise all was safe. and although i am tired today. it was a good moment that we shared together. i often do not appreciate him the way that i should and i need to remember that.